.png)
"How is your relationship with money? Have you talked to money about this? Asked how it feels? Thanked it?"
I kept waiting for my mentor to laugh at her own joke, but no laughter was coming. She was dead serious about these questions. She wanted me to look deep into them.
You see, I always thought I had a great relationship with money. Money was always there when I wanted it. I had never experienced lack or had to stress about where money would come from or not having enough. In fact, I had more than enough and, according to common standards, it was growing and serving me quite well. It was a constant presence in my life and one I thought I had mastered.
Did I want more? Of course, who doesn't? Why else would I have invested so much of it on a high-level mastermind focusing precisely on how to make millions?
It wasn't just that I wanted more (money, freedom, abundance in general); it was that I knew I could be doing so much better. I intuitively, or energetically, knew there was something I was missing that was preventing me from getting the most out of my money. You could say I was wide open and ready to explore the possibilities. So, there I was, pen and paper in hand, listening to my mentor and thinking: "What is she talking about?"
By this time, I wasn't completely clueless, I had spent enough time in the personal and spiritual development world to know that money is not just a thing. It is an energy; it is in constant flow and it moves in and out for our hands (or bank accounts) constantly. Just as with any other energy, our vibration, our frequency can attract it to us or send it away. It can be moving or grow stagnant. We can go deep into this some other time.
But this was taking it to a different playfield completely. Talking to my money? Asking it how it feels? Aligning on strategies and plans with it? I mean money doesn't have feelings, does it?
The thing is that, just like any other energy, money wants to partner with us, to have a close intimate relationship with us. It wants to support us and love us and be available to us. We, however, may not be showing up as the best partner money can have.
You see, as my mentor continued her explanation, I realized I had never really paid enough attention to my money. I had assumed it was its job to be there for me, to take care of me and know exactly what I needed. All I had to do was ask. If this had been a partnership, relationship or friendship, my partner "Money" would have left me ages ago. It would have realized that I was completely self-absorbed and paid absolutely no attention to its needs or feelings. All I cared about was for it to show up, when I demanded it and to always bring nice gifts (trips, jewelry, clothes, etc). I never talked about our future together or where I saw the relationship going, never asked for Money's opinions or thoughts before making plans and certainly, never thanked or showed any real appreciation for Money. It was indeed a miracle this relationship had not sunk completely.
Mind-blowing, yes, to say the least. There I was, thinking, with an MBA in Finance and years of experience in corporate, that I knew all I had to know about money, budgeting, investments, creating wealth, when, in reality, that was only the tip of the iceberg. There was so much more that I had missed, so much I had not even began to explore. So many questions and ideas to explore.
If "Money" and I had come this far and achieved so much, with such poor communication, what would "Money" and I be able to achieve together if I actually showed it some love and affection and worked at improving our relationship?
And how do I do that? I mean, I’m all for a little "woo-woo" here and there (ok, ok, a lot of woo-woo), but I am still pretending to be a serious, respectable executive. What would my colleagues think if they found out I had penciled in dates with "Money"? My bet is they would assume I had finally met someone and that was his nickname. What do you guys think?
Anyway, back to the important relationship today. It was clear that, if I wanted more money in my life, "Money" and I were in for some serious couple's therapy. I would need to commit to this relationship as much as "Money" had, and I would need to be willing to communicate and open up to her.
So, what did Money and I commit to that day?
First of all, it was me who had to commit. Money was always there, unconditional and ready to jump into this relationship headfirst. It was me who had the commitment fears, the communication issues, the past traumas and unrealistic expectations and was transferring them all into our relationship.
So, first of all had to own and accept all this and I did, by publicly (well in a letter) telling Money how much I valued our relationship, it's unconditional support and everything it did for me. I apologized for taking it for granted. I accepted Money's help and support. Honored it and owned that I would never be able to do this without it and how grateful I was (and am) for everything and, especially for Money never giving up on me. (I would show you guys the letter, but I think, in relationships, some things should stay private ;)
Once that was out in the open, Money and I sat down and scheduled in some quality time together. We needed to go through so much:
· Our beliefs, how we see the world and our relationship
· Our plans for the future, what are we building together?
· Our investments
· How do we want to contribute to the world?
We talked and talked and spent the entire night talking. There was some deep sh... that I needed to let go off. So many beliefs I had to shift, like how "Money" is not supposed to magically anticipate my every need and cater to it. If I tell "Money" what I need and want it will help me get it.
"Money" doesn't want me to constantly try to proof that I am good enough and better than others. "Money" loves me, and I can trust and depend on it. It wants to support me and see me thrive.
"Money" likes me and enjoys spending time with me and creating empires together.
"Money" doesn't want me to feel guilty for what it gives me. "Money" wants me to be proud of what we achieve together and how good our relationship is.
"Money" will not punish me if I stop working. "Money" wants me to enjoy life and have happiness.
Once we talked it all seemed so much easier, lighter. Like having a real partner in crime. I had been carrying all this weight alone and had completely forgotten “Money” was there to help and support. Money was not just my worker doing my bidding. It is a partner that is willing to help and support.
Money and I set up a daily ritual. We like to talk at the end of each day. Sit down quietly, wind down with a comforting drink, look at our accounts, see how we are tracking, adjust the plan, create some more and, most importantly, be grateful.